Defining Stress
Defining Stress
So for the past 15 years, I've been asking the same question over and over to different people and clients. Every time, I seem to get a different answer. So, what is stress?
Take a minute to see what comes up as you ask this question and I encourage you to write it all down. You may notice situations, thoughts, emotions and sensations come up. as you refine your definition, try to think of how you would define stress to a younger version of yourself, go ahead.
Stressors
One way people tend to define stress is by identifying stressors.
Often, these can be categorized as people and places. For example school or work is stressful. A teacher or a boss.
Finally, we can also think of events and experiences. For example, loosing a job or loosing a loved one
Another way of organizing stressors can also be thoughts and tasks. For example, doing an assignment is overwhelming. Thinking about the worst case scenario around something that is important for you
So go ahead and think of all the stressors in the past week and make a list.
Signs
Signs refer to the internal experience of stress for you. when experiencing high levels of stress, most people report some type of physical sensation, leading them to know they are feeling stressed. Physical sensations, thoughts are usually are associated with an emotion.
So for example: you may notice your heart rate going up… or you may start sweating more than you typically… or you mind can start hyper focusing on the potential stressors… or get certain urges to suppress it, avoid it or deflect it.
Take a moment to write down your most common signs of when you are stressed. Don’t worry if it’s difficult to identify at first. I encourage you to pay attention to it during the next couple of days
Signals
Have you ever had a friend or loved one notice something was off? Odds are that you were signaling through your behaviours that you were feeling stressed. Some of us will pace, while others will be noticeably distracted. Others may fidget or resort with default behaviours like needing to watch Netflix or excessively clean.
Signaling makes a lot of sense as we are social animals. When we are faced with a difficult situation, it’s easier to not go at it alone. Babies cry, parents come in to soothe them. With time we learn to self-regulate our own emotions. Some of these may be healthier than others.
Now when it comes to signaling it’s important for us to be self-aware while also communicating it effectively to those around us as they can’t read our minds. Some may be more upset in their tone of voice or use blaming language to deflect responsibility or try to get others to resolve the situation. others will adopt certain coping patterns, like eating,
Take a moment to think of what your signals tend. If you want to go the extra mile, think of those who tend to notice these signals the most and whether they are hearing the right message.
Today's Exercise: Knowing your 3S
Check out this handy worksheet exploring your 3S - Stressors, Signs and Signals.
Don’t get rid of it, instead keep updating it and with time, you’ll be able to increase your awareness around stress, be attuned to your body and mind while exploring how to effectively recruit others around you.
