The Stress Buster System

It’s good to see you,

Welcome to the Stress Buster System (or SBS to keep it brief). First things first, let’s start with the Stress Buster Compass. Life is not a linear experience, instead it’s a journey between where you are now and where you want to be. Along the way, obstacles are going to get thrown your way so my hope with this training program is you feel more confident to climb over these hurdles. The goal of this article is to give you a zoomed-out perspective of the system before we get started.

Principle #1: The Dichotomy of Control

A good place to start when faced with a challenge is to understand what you have control over vs what is out of your control in that moment. Most problems will have elements of both, yet to be efficient, you need to know where to focus your energy.

Within the SBS Compass, the first axis stands for your control over the situation. Factors that are within our control should adopt a Stance of Radical Ownership and implement A+ Skills (A+ stands for Action)

Whereas the other end of this axis stands for your options when you have little to no control. In these instances, adopting a stance of Radical Acceptance while implementing De-Stress skills will prove to be helpful.

Principle #2: Mind-Body Fitness

It’s commonly accepted now that health includes both mind and body. The biggest energy drain for our body tends to be caused by our thoughts, while low physical health can impact the way we think and feel.  

When faced with adversity, we can use our Re:THINK skills to help improve mental precision and mindset. These tend to be a top-down approach to managing stress. In other words, Re:THINK skills are all about focusing on your mind. Consider these techniques as the North of our compass.

On the other hand, what we do in-between stressors also count to make sure we have sufficient resources to endure new challenges. We call these Mood Booster skills. These are lifestyle choices that tend to be a bottom-up approach and help to reduce reactivity and improve resilience. In other words, the focus here is on the body and soul. Consider this the South of our compass.

Principle #3: Mindful Awareness

At the core of these two axes, is YOU … and YOU play a critical role in connecting all these elements. At the heart of this system, we hope you can gain greater awareness of your:

1.     Values

2.     Beliefs

3.     Interests

When our values, beliefs and interests are challenged or facilitated, we tend to have a reaction and our response is critical if we to move towards our goal.

When feeling lost around these 3 awareness targets, a daily journal can be a great tool to help identify and make sense of them. If daily journaling is not your thing, I’d recommend using the Stress Monk, Emotions Ninja and Cognitive Wizard worksheets, to help increase your awareness about you.

Improving your mindful awareness will help you align 4 essential layers to live the life you want. These include your:

1.     Physiology (body)

2.     Emotions (feelings)

3.     Cognition (thoughts)

4.     Behaviours (actions)

Being attuned to these 4 layers will help you towards your goal of mastery and kicking butt when the world throws you a challenge. Consider this section the center of your compass.

Principle #4: The Mastery Ladder Knowledge

In the 1970s, Noel Burch introduced a 4-step process towards mastery and being aware of this process really goes nicely with principle 3.

Lvl 1: Unconscious Incompetence (Beginner) - In this state we’re not aware that there’s a problem nor do we know we should solve it.

Lvl 2: Conscious Incompetence (Novice) - In this state, we’re aware that there’s a problem but don’t know how to solve it.

Lvl 3: Conscious Competence (Expert) - In this state, we’re aware of the problem and can apply solutions when we put our mind to it.

Lvl 4: Unconscious Competence (Master) - In this state, we’re aware of the problem and can resolve them with great ease.

Principle #5: The Progress Formula

Knowledge without action is useless. Here’s a simple formula to keep us on track.

Progress = Strategy (having the right tools for the task) x Implementation (having the right supports and systems to execute) x Duration (having the ability to repeat it over time). Applying this formula is a good way for reaching lvl 4 of the Mastery ladder

Principle #6: Get Started

The key is to get started now. The risk of waiting for tomorrow is that you are at greater risk of either making a situation worst or not progressing and staying miserable. On that rather unpleasant note, let’s get started with the foundations of stress.

In summary

Here’s your SBW Compass:

Defining Stress

Defining Stress

So for the past 15 years, I've been asking the same question over and over to different people and clients. Every time, I seem to get a different answer. So, what is stress?

Take a minute to see what comes up as you ask this question and I encourage you to write it all down. You may notice situations, thoughts, emotions and sensations come up. as you refine your definition, try to think of how you would define stress to a younger version of yourself, go ahead.

Stressors

One way people tend to define stress is by identifying stressors.

Often, these can be categorized as people and places. For example school or work is stressful. A teacher or a boss.

Finally, we can also think of events and experiences. For example, loosing a job or loosing a loved one

Another way of organizing stressors can also be thoughts and tasks. For example, doing an assignment is overwhelming. Thinking about the worst case scenario around something that is important for you

So go ahead and think of all the stressors in the past week and make a list.

Signs

Signs refer to the internal experience of stress for you. when experiencing high levels of stress, most people report some type of physical sensation, leading them to know they are feeling stressed. Physical sensations, thoughts are usually are associated with an emotion.

So for example: you may notice your heart rate going up… or you may start sweating more than you typically… or you mind can start hyper focusing on the potential stressors… or get certain urges to suppress it, avoid it or deflect it.

Take a moment to write down your most common signs of when you are stressed. Don’t worry if it’s difficult to identify at first. I encourage you to pay attention to it during the next couple of days

Signals

Have you ever had a friend or loved one notice something was off? Odds are that you were signaling through your behaviours that you were feeling stressed. Some of us will pace, while others will be noticeably distracted. Others may fidget or resort with default behaviours like needing to watch Netflix or excessively clean.

Signaling makes a lot of sense as we are social animals. When we are faced with a difficult situation, it’s easier to not go at it alone. Babies cry, parents come in to soothe them. With time we learn to self-regulate our own emotions. Some of these may be healthier than others.

Now when it comes to signaling it’s important for us to be self-aware while also communicating it effectively to those around us as they can’t read our minds. Some may be more upset in their tone of voice or use blaming language to deflect responsibility or try to get others to resolve the situation. others will adopt certain coping patterns, like eating,

Take a moment to think of what your signals tend. If you want to go the extra mile, think of those who tend to notice these signals the most and whether they are hearing the right message.

Today's Exercise: Knowing your 3S

1. Check out this handy worksheet exploring your 3S - Stressors, Signs and Signals.

2. Don’t get rid of it, instead keep updating it and with time, you’ll be able to increase your awareness around stress, be attuned to your body and mind while exploring how to effectively recruit others around you.

Redefining Stress

If you read the last article, we focused on the 3S of stress: Stressors, Signs and Signals. Now it’s to explore our current relationship to stress. So what are your thoughts, is stress a good thing or a bad thing?

Our relationship to stress can influence the role we have in dealing with the onslaught of stressors we experience on a day to day basis.

3 default roles around stress

The Stress Sloth - These tend to be those who never appear to be bothered and stressed out. Or at least they try to make others believe it anyway. It can be a combination of not noticing any signs nor expressing any signals. It can also be a symptom of being overly sheltered. The risk here is that there’s not enough stress to get moving, therefore the response can be slow or less effective. We can also refer this as a state of no to low stress.

The Stress Avoider - Many people are in the camp of stress is bad and as a result believe we should avoid it. We notice two extremes, either people are stuck and not moving as they are avoiding the stressor or they are over-experiencing it, leading to inefficient and sometimes damaging ways of dealing with the stressor. We sometimes refer to this as the "fight, flight or freeze” response or a state of distress

The Stress Seeker - Stress seekers tend to view stress as neither a good or bad thing. As a result, they are constantly seeking the balance between the Sloth and the Avoider. As a result of being able to regulate their level of stress to meet the expectations of the situation and move forward. People who “be-friend” their stress tend to be in a state of eustress or even as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes a sate of flow.

Redefining our relationship to Stress

So stress has often been defined as a bad thing as it leads to harm to our health and quality of life. Doctors and experts for the longest time would focus mostly on how do we get rid of it. However, what if the issue is not so much stress but our relationship to stress. I do agree that prolonged stress adds un-necessary burden but I also agree that having no stress is not helpful to get us moving either. What if we could re-define stress in a way that is less loaded and more objective. So finally, my definition is this. Stress is a reaction to change. It’s neither good or bad but helps to bring attention to a change, so we can respond effectively to the situation or change. In a even simpler way, stress is energy.

Blog Post Title Four

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.